I am now suicidal because I'm confused?

Hi, when I was a kid, I had very low confidence. I could never wear shorts or dresses, frills and stuff. I am a female, but I like girls and boys. When I wear makeup, which is hardly ever, I feel like I'm going out for Halloween. I am ashamed of my breasts, and try to wear my sisters bras to cover them up. I cut my hair short because I thought having long hair was embarrassing. I never wanted to play dolls with the other girls my age, and prefered to play video games. Someone calling me a girly girl was the biggest offense in the world. These feelings are brought out when I hang out with other girls my age, and I just don't get them, I hate calling myself a girl. When people call me a boy, I take it as a compliment. I am 15 now and I am developing. I am so ashamed that I am thinking of killing myself. I asked my mother if I was schizophrenic because I hear things and sometimes I see things and now there's this. Am I delioiusinal? I cried so much yesterday. I don't want to live my life like this. I see two counsollers, but they don't know how to deal with it. I am on paxil and concerta.